Ultimately, the hope for Saints who struggle emotionally and spiritually with plural marriage is that a better understanding of the history [Page 76]and doctrine of plural marriage will encourage greater faith and bring solace to the soul. For some of our youth, the shock is too traumatic for their tender testimonies. MYTH: God forbids all divorce, and divorce is the unpardonable sin. Gains have been made since the days I observed palpable discomfort in missionaries and volunteers. WebElder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, There are many good Church members who have been divorced and reiterated that unless a divorced (You didn't see President Hinckley rushing off to get married after the death of his wife Marjorie, right?). Members should learn that one practices plural marriage only when God commands it through his prophets, and we are following the prophet by not presently practicing it. This has led to unansweredperhaps even unspokenquestions, as well as hurt feelings, insecurity, and resentment. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints permits divorce, but the Church's focus on happy, sound, and even eternal families elevates marriage to a sacred covenant not to be lightly dissolved. Of divorce, LDS Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley said, There is now and again a legitimate cause for divorce. Plural marriage has proven to be a prime weapon because a little of the truth can be devastating. While another, more up-to-date survey was not conducted before publication, anecdotal evidence suggests attitudes have not changed between fall 2011 and winter 2014. After personal reflection and prayer, Elder Scott felt impressed that he should serve a mission and was called to serve inUruguay from 1950 to 1953. WebFor Latter-day Saint children of divorce, questions like this can add to the sadness and uncertainty that divorce brings. Church Participation. What is your personal anchor belief? While others shared what kept them going: I wonder if I would have continued going to church if I [didnt] have children. and continued to pray that one day his father would be baptized and his family would be sealed in the temple. There is more of a stigma associated with it. For examples of accusations of Joseph Smith and pedophilia, see Smith, Nauvoo Polygamy; Mark Webster, Hes a Dangerous Man: God Talk and Sexual Abuse, Beyond Opinion.com: Christian Apologetics Ministry, December 13, 2010, accessed October 14, 2011, http://beyondopinion.com/tag/joseph-smith/; and Sandra Tanner, Joseph Smith as a Sexual Predator, Mormon Coffee: Its Forbidden But its Good, June 21, 2009, accessed October 12, 2011, http://blog.mrm.org/2009/06/joseph-smith-as-a-sexual-predator/. It should be noted that while most of the sanctioned post-Manifesto plural marriages were performed outside of the United States, some were performed within U.S. borders. Because i personally know a man who divorced after a temple marriage, remarried (eventually in the temple), and later became a bishop. A few reasons suggest themselves: first, while 19th-century polygamy happened, it is, after all, in the past. All are alike unto God, and He invites all to come unto him and partake of his goodness (2 Nephi 26:33).Church leaders and members are often asked who can attend meetings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who can become Church members, and who can attend a The manual emphasized that plural marriage should not be the focus of the lesson. On the positive side, unlike earlier Sunday School manual referred to, the online version of the latest Sunday School manual includes an explanation and discussion points about plural marriage. Not everyone grows up in an "ideal" family situation. About 78.7% of Muslim divorcees are women; for Hindus, this figure is As a youth, Elder Scott would attend Church occasionally with friends or with the encouragement of home teachers and bishops. Not surprisingly, the largest number of respondents who identified their place of [Page 59]birth were from Utah, with the next largest group identifying their birthplace as somewhere in the western United States. Given how central the family is in Church doctrine, divorce in the Latter-day Saint community is a sensitive and complicated issue. It was a journey that almost ended in disaster. Two weeks after he returned from his mission, Elder Scott and Jeanene were sealed in the Manti Utah Temple. Your Feelings About Mormon Polygamy., 50. (You didn't see President Hinckley rushing off to get married after the death of his wife Marjorie, right?). LDS By the 1950s Mormons had become thoroughly Americanized and tended to display a split opinion about polygamy. By the time he was 22 years old, Elder Scott had not really considered serving a mission, until he metJeanene Watkins. However, it wasn't until years after Elder Bednar's mission and after he was married that his he received an answer to the question he had been asking his father all those years when his father called him to ask, "What are you doing this Saturday? Copy in authors possession. BoydK. Packer, The Shield of Faith, Ensign, May 1995, 8. Finding out Joseph Smith practiced was a shockas I had not learned this in Church. By the end of these few decades, a number of members had doctrinally and physically separated themselves from the body of the Church because they continued to teach and practice plural marriage. . Unfortunately, such an outcome is not the case for Latter-day Saints and their polygamous history. Separated but not Divorced: The LDS Churchs Teenage wives. Eternal plural marriage would be in the future, and, for some Latter-day Saint women, that makes it a very dark future. Im a Mormon, I know it, I live it and I love it. They are in violation of the civil law. 4. Well, I replied, perhaps a little too sarcastically, we wouldnt want them to do that., [Page 58]No, she answered. Your previous content has been restored. These survey results provide an opportunity for personal reflection. Recent Events Highlight Confusion of Polygamy. For the actual presentation, see http://www.fairmormon.org/perspectives/fair-conferences/2011-fair-conference/2011-a-reconciliation-of-polygamy. I became a pariah. Even more disturbing for these members is the possibility that they have been lied to by modern Church leaders. I thanked her and hung up, amazed at the extent of her embarrassment and effort to avoid the subject.31, This palpable discomfort with polygamy is shared by regular members of the Church. pete22, Broadcasts Video Images Music Podcasts and Radio. The mother said she divorced her husband, who later re-married. Interestingly enough, 5 of the respondents were from England, with at least 3 of them identifying themselves as fundamentalist Mormons. I don't know if divorced men can be branch presidents though. The depth of dismay occurs in part because of the negative publicity attending Warren Jeffss marriages to under-aged brides as well as modernitys changed concept of childhood and adulthood. Her eyes bugged out, her mouth dropped open, and she asked in a weak voice, Joseph Smith had more than one wife? Afterward, she repeated several times that she was blown away.65. Also, provide long-term support. Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can get divorced. Display as a link instead, There . Web38.1. Such an approach was expressed by this man I counseled: I still have a hard time grasping the concept that Im a divorced man, but I am. Pay attention to the children who are going through a really bad time. ok if you have any links or info that i can show this person i would like to see them and thanks for confirming what i thought. More 53. For Latter-day Saints, families are not only the fundamental unit of society but also of the Church. When Jesus Christ came to earth, He organized His church. Be patient and reach out yourself. We spoke for at least 45 minutes during which time I was very open and honest about aspects of plural marriage, including my own familys history. The missionary told how Brigham Youngs wife would keep house, and I naturally wondered which wife, so I asked. Then it should be emphasized that we no longer practice plural marriage. John Kitzmiller, personal interview, October 13, 2011. "This letter is an internal document. One survey respondent wrote, Inadvertently finding out the truth about polygamy/polyandry absolutely devastated me.42 Another complained about Joseph Smith shacking up with women for years and then wrote, I am glad I discovered the truth about dirty Joes polyandry. I am much happier as a saved Christian outside the vile, lying Mormon cult.43, Discovery of Joseph Smiths polyandrous marriages can be a traumatic experience. Nate Oman on Jeffs and Modern Mormonism, e-mail correspondence, August 25, 2011. Elder David S. Baxter, a general authority of the Seventy, found the gospel at a critical time in his life. The Church and its defenders have begun to take steps to inoculate members against the insidious attacks of critics and enemies. Some noted that they asked for a break because of the new demands they faced after their divorce. Im angry that they have broken up our family. 28. 46. The top reason for a change in calling was relocation. One divorcee noted, Friends outside church did not treat me like a sinner for getting a divorce. They likely dont know what to do or say. Anyway, to answer the OP: I don't believe any of the quorum of the 12 have gone through a divorce, but the only way i can think that you could confirm it would be to go to the official website of the church, lds.org, and do a search for their biographies, one by one. Unlike Warren Jeffs and a small minority of polygamists, most Fundamentalist Mormons are quiet, law-abiding (other than practicing polygamy) people of good report who generally blend in with the rest of society and who have no desire to attract attention to themselves or their religious practices. In their examination of the divorce rate within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, using both civil and temple marriages combined, McClendon and Chadwick (2005) estimated that the current lifetime divorce rate for returned-missionary men to be approximately 12% and for returned-missionary women around 16%. The Manifesto and the End of Plural Marriage The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Third Hour Forum Rules - Please be familiar with these rules before posting. There should, then, be a better historical and doctrinal explanation of plural marriage in adult Gospel Doctrine classes. FHE Object Lesson: Treasure Transformation, Remembering President Boyd K. Packer (19242015). While this survey was intended only for those of a Latter-day Saint background, at least two respondents identified themselves as non-Mormons. But one or two of the current apostles have remarried after becoming widowed.. wow I really like that.. i had no idea that you couldnt be bishop if you were divorced or unmarried. That sounds [Page 52]like The Prime Directive in Star Trek.16 Is there any wonder a 2011 poll undertaken by a California polling company found that almost half of those polled thought Mormons either definitely or probably practice polygamy?17. the husband of one wife phrase The author would like to thank Suzanne L. Foster, Brian C. Hales, Laura Hales, and Gregory L. Smith for their help with this paper. [Page 74]. Gordon B. Hinckley, What Are People Asking About Us? Ensign (November 1998): 70. The sister missionary was giving the tour to what appeared to be a non-member family and me. but we called it celestial marriage (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 2008); and Richard S. Van Wagoner, Mormon Polygamy: A History (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 1986). Together, they made the harrowing journey past Russian guards patrolling the border to West Germany until they were safely reunited with the rest of President Uchtdorf's family. This is sad because what someone going through a divorce needs the most is support from those around them. But heres a fact you need to know: children can be For example, they wanted to focus on home life or to take care of children. Hopefully these suggestions will help those who are troubled or discomforted about the Churchs legacy of plural marriage. 36. Dr. Swinton says, Love them. I was sad to see that ward members and [ministering brothers and sisters] were so far down on the list of where support comes from, he says. For more information showing Josephs Smiths marriages to teenage wives were not out of the cultural and social norm of his time, see Joseph Smith/Polygamy/Marriages to Young Women, FairMormon Answers, accessed February 22, 2014, http://en.fairmormon.org/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy/Marriages_to_young_women. These details (in part) caused me to lose my testimony.40. Those divorcing tended to perceive ward members as a group that was unsupportive, fearful, and judgmental. E-mail correspondence between [anonymous] and Craig L. Foster, February 17, 2012. Brigham Young had a well publicized divorce. He did, however, not require any other members to practice the doctrine until the Nauvoo period. For example, one active Latter-day Saint in a private e-mail group opined about possible similarities between Smith and Jeffs, None of this eases the nagging feeling in the back of the brain that somehow Warren Jeffs is a 21st-century Joseph Smith.47 This same member had previously written, I can see [Page 64]how the Jeffs case really could be a problem for some. In a 2012 e-mail discussion between fellow Latter-day Saints about Joseph Smith and polyandry, one member wrote, There really is a chance that these married women might have been just as interested in the prurient side of this as Joseph Smith.61 [Page 68]Another later agreed that polyandry, no matter how you try to present it, is weird. In many ways, Fundamentalist Mormons are like Latter-day Saints former relativesex-uncles or crazy former cousins who cause embarrassment and discomfort, for they remind us of a married past we would rather forget. He was baptized on 10 March 1998 in Reyjavik, the capital city of Iceland, while serving on active duty in Keflavik Iceland with the United States Navy. Before his 13th birthday, Elder Baxter was baptized and received the Aaronic priesthood. Nate Oman on Jeffs, August 25, 2011. This essay looks at examples of members expression of discomfort over a polygamous heritage and concludes with suggestions of possible pathways to a more comfortable reconciliation. 63. They make up most of the adult LDS membership. So why do It says: "Effective immediately, a man who has been previously sealed and later divorced, who desires to be married and sealed in the temple must first obtain a clearance from the First Presi-den-cy. for Time and for All Eternity in Doctrine and Covenants and Church History: Gospel Doctrine Teachers Manual, accessed February 14, 2014, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/manual/doctrine-and-covenants-and-Church-history-gospel-doctrine-teachers-manual/lesson-31-sealedfor-time-and-for-all-eternity?lang=eng. Though Elder David A. Bednar's father was not baptized until later in life, he was very supportive of his wife and children attending Church meetings. These negative feelings increased when confronted with criticism of the Church on the subject of plural marriage. Most couples tried going to counseling to support orsave their marriage, but perhaps not to the degree we would expect: Note: The definition of what qualified as counseling support is unique for those surveyed and, in the course of the survey, seemed to be open to interpretation. English Find a Church. At the time, Elder Cook's father was a less-active member and thought Elder Cook's older brother, Joe, should pursue a career in the medical field instead of serving a mission. Of those who were aware, thirty percent had learned from a family member while almost ten percent learned from sources critical of the Church.39. Copyright 2023 Deseret News Publishing Company. The next morning, Joe approached his father and bore his testimony, earning his father's support to serve a mission. Elders Bednar, Cook + 3 Other Apostles Whose Family A man may remarry after the death of his wife and not be disqualified from these callings. Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic.. The Relationship of Joseph Smith and Fanny Alger, in The Persistence of Polygamy: Joseph Smith and the Origins of Mormon Polygamy, eds. This is true even if your parents temple sealing to each other is canceled. DallinH. Oaks, Divorce, Ensign, May 2007, 70. We know that some look back on their divorces with regret at their own partial or predominant fault in the breakup. 57. In fact, some have left the Church specifically because of this issue. M. Russell Ballard, The Importance of a Name, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints October 2011 General Conference Addresses, accessed October 24, 2011, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/general-conference/2011/10/the-importance-of-a-name?lang=eng. 54. January 10, 2009 in LDS Gospel Discussion. But heres a fact you need to know: children can be sealed to only two parents. As the two started dating, Jeanene told Elder Scott, When I marry, it will be in the temple to a returned missionary.. Answer. Rebecca Musser and M. Bridget Cook, The Witness Wore Red: The 19th Wife Who Brought Polygamous Cult Leaders to Justice (New York: Grand Central Publishing, 2013). Many survey respondents noted that they felt most accepted and supported by nonmembers because they were not judgmental and there is less of a stigma around divorce in the outside world. Even more tragically, accidental discovery and/or inadequate teachings about the Churchs history and relationship to plural marriage have caused crises of faith which have alienated members of the Church and, in many cases, led to their eventual departure from the faith. President Uchtdorf's family fled their home in Zwickau in East Germany to Frankfurtin West Germany. Many others had a different reason for their change in calling. If you worry that being supportive somehow condones something you don't approve of, remember that showing love does not mean you are condoning something. "The train stopped, my mother went out and tried to get food," President Uchtdorf told KUTV. For the very first time, I am seeing outright no in response to will there be celestial polygamy. The Church of Jesus Christ itself has been described as a Church very much against polygamy that will continue to distance itself as far away from polygamy as possible.24 As [Page 55]previously explained, the Church has, since at least the late 1920s, repeatedly tried to distance itself from fundamentalist Mormonism and modern plural marriage. Details regarding this matter have been communicated to stake and mission presidents.". I've also known several Bishopric Counselors who have been divorced. Paste as plain text instead, For examples of people who chose to secretly practice plural marriage while still members of the LDS Church, see Craig L. Foster, The Persistence of Plural Marriage Within Mainstream Mormonism: The Example of the Barr and Mary Musser Family, in Scattering of the Saints: Schism Within Mormonism, eds. 44. Stephen C. Taysom, A Uniform and Common Recollection: Joseph Smiths Legacy, Polygamy, and the Creation of Mormon Public Memory, 1852 2002, Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought 35/3 (Fall 2002): 136. I did know one who was released when he and his wife were separated. Feelings About Plural Marriage. Over 230 of the respondents were born in Utah or the western United States. The survey was not random, as people were contacted by e-mail and on Facebook and asked to participate and to spread the word among their LDS family and friends. Newell G. Bringhurst, Where Have All of Brigham Youngs Wives Gone? Church leaders have discouraged speculationabout future apostles. During a conversation regarding Mormon history, I mentioned in passing that Joseph Smith had plural wives. . As they grew up, we would point to pictures of ancestors on the wall and explain how they came from his fifth wife or that the lady in the photograph was the plural wife of the man in [Page 70]the photo hanging next to hers. Do they still classify unmarried men over the age of 25 as "menaces to society"? Thats just how it is.62. FinancialSpecial5787 1 yr. ago. Hales expands this argument about Joseph Smiths polyandrous marriages in his three volume work titled, Joseph Smiths Polygamy (Salt Lake City, Utah: Greg Kofford Books, 2013). 67. Men are less inclined to share their feelings, so they can be less likely to learn from their experience. Some men have said that nothing shook their testimonies like divorce. Alternately, Todd D. Compton, in an essay in the same volume, 184232, titled, Early Marriage in the New England and Northeastern States, and in Mormon Polygamy: What Was the Norm? argues that such age gaps between marriage partners were unusual, but because his analysis relies on New England marriage patterns rather than those of the frontier, I do not believe he has rebutted the perspective offered by Foster, Keller, and Smith. 51. 30. Learn more at joshlockhart.blogspot.ca. Then I will get a temple sealing. WebA civil marriage first is God's will, and was specified as a requirement in the original Doctrine and Covenants. Elder Scott's parents would later serve in the Washington DC Temple for many years, and Elder Scott served as an apostle until he passed away Septemeber 22, 2015. Sex with teenage wives.48. 8. Raised on Essentials in Church History and similar volumes and never hearing of Joseph Smiths own plural relationships in general conferences or in other official publications, the new public memory began to take root.22. And while such issues might be of little interest in one stake or ward, members in a neighboring stake or ward might be very interested or have a need for further teaching and explanation. He currently serves as the Ward Mission Leader of the Annapolis Maryland Ward. As President DieterF. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, taught: We must let go of our grievances. Converts reactions varied, and for some the concept was difficult to accept. Commitment to the Covenant: LDS Marriage and Divorce Divorce - Mormonism, The Mormon Church, Beliefs, & Religion Joseph Smiths marriages to teenagers have increasingly become a stumbling block to faithful members. But I've had the experience of providing all those ordinances for my dad," Elder Bednar said, years after his family was sealed for eternity in the temple. Since few anticipate plural marriages return, and even fewer hope for it, the estranged partners are not getting back together. 16. The new apostles could come from general authorities of the church, or from the church membership at large. This shaken feeling can leave a divorced man uncomfortable with Church attendance, especially if he believes that others are assuming he has been unfaithful to his wife. Throughout his life, Elder Oaks admired his mother's fortitude and ability to raise her children in the gospel. This holds true whether they were married civilly or in a temple. i was having a discussion with a friend and he said one of the 12 apostles of the LDS church had been divorced, i told him from what i know about t Growing up, Elder Richard G. Scott's mother was a less-active member and his father did not belong to the Church. 62. Another example of anti-Mormon accusations of adulterous polyandry can be found at LDSFreedom.org, Polyandry & Joseph Smith, accessed October 12, 2011, http://www.ldsfreedom.org/node/7. Examples of some who have furthered and even built upon some of this sensational and inaccurate stereotyping are Fawn M. Brodie, No Man Knows My History: The Life of Joseph Smith (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1945); George D. Smith, Nauvoo Polygamy: . Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic.. For some, it has been too much. LDS apostles The historical record, however, clearly demonstrates that Church leaders intended at least a few plural marriages to continue without the Churchs public sanction and encouragement.2 This contributed to the difficulties of the next few decades. If someone believe[s] differently is it really worth getting upset over and offended? Another shared a similar experience: They stopped inviting me to every activity, shopping trip, dinners, everything. John C. Bennett, The History of the Saints; or, an Expos of Joe Smith and Mormonism (Boston: Leland & Whiting, 1842). [Page 49]Another accusation of more recent date, perhaps even more insidious than the previous, charges the Mormons of pedophilia because of marriages with teenage brides.10 This [Page 50]slur has been aimed particularly against Joseph Smith in order to attack his claim to be a prophet of God. What can Latter-day Saints do to be more supportive of divorced members? Luckily, President Uchtdorf's mother was able to locate the train and her children in the large train station. Church policy, however, does have a preference to married men as bishops. And not just one isolated no. In my experience as a counselor, I found that, although much of what men and women experience in divorce is the same, there are some differences: While still married, men are more likely to minimize the seriousness of marital problems. An outspoken skeptic of the plurality of wives as an eternal principle is former BYU professor Valerie Hudson. When he was 15 years old, Elder Baxter says he looked back on the challenges his family faced in his younger yearsalcoholism, divorce, povertyall of the things he couldn't change in his past and decided, "I will change the futurefor myself and for the children I will someday have. In December 2013, the LDS Church published an essay titled, Plural Marriage and Families in Early Utah, accessed January 20, 2014, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/plural-marriage-and-families-in-early-utah?lang=eng. Enter your email to receive updates on our LDS Living content, 2022 LDS Living A Division of Deseret Book Company, How to Talk to Children About Temple Covenants After a Divorce, What (and What Not) to Say to the Recently Divorced, 10 Things Latter-day Saint Singles Wish You Knew, 6 Things Every Latter-day Saint with Divorced Parents Should Understand. Licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Jonathan Swinton of Salt Lake City, Utah, gives further insight on Latter-day Saint couples that seek counseling: Most respondents said they were active at the time of their divorce: Many continued to attend church after their divorce: Some shared why their participation decreased: The sisters of the ward blamed me for the divorce and told my girls that it was my fault. Questions & Answers: My parents were married in the temple, but now theyre divorced. 69. Just do your best. 49. We should clarify to say CURRENTLY divorced or unmarried priesthood holders cannot be Bishop or a General Authority. Almost any discussion of the subject seems to be discouraged through a lack of mention in the manuals and public presentations. Its in the handbook. Elder Baxter says his mother was "happy, content, and fulfilled until overtaken by mortality" during her marriage for nearly 25 years until she passed away. This will help you examine your own behavior and see things more accurately. Another active Latter-day Saint responded: Are you suggesting that what is making you pleased is the denial of relationships in the Celestial Kingdom? Any righteous, willing, and worthy man may be bishop regardless of his marital status. A whole lesson about Doctrine and Covenants 132 and not one mention of plural marriage? None of the 12 or the First Presidency have been divorced. To his knowledgge this policy came from the Area Seventy. Fortunately, most former spouses learn to cooperate for the benefit of their children. Now, in a world-wide Church such as the LDS Church, not all members will have the same need for or interest in information about the Churchs polygamous past. If two men are available to be bishop and they are equally qualified in every way except one man is married and the other is not, you can expect the married man to receive the call. I can't imagine a Seventy giving instruction that was inconsistent with Church policy. Bill Redeker, Beer Maker Finds Polygamy Ads Sell, Good Morning America, February 8, 2011, accessed February 10, 2011, http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=126371&page=1. Though faced with overwhelming hardships and challenges, these general authorities gained a stronger testimony of the Savior and the importance of families while overcoming incredibly trying family situations. Claire, October 4, 2011. Just as a civil marriage does not automatically translate into a temple sealing for a Mormon couple, a civil divorce does not unseal them. That is a significant number. All content by The Interpreter Foundation, unless otherwise specified, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. And, like plural marriage itself, they are not going away.68. His first plural wife was Fanny Alger in 18351836 as explained by Bradley, Fanny Alger, in The Persistence of Polygamy, 1458. His mother remarried, but Elder Baxter's stepfather was "not a good man" and times were difficult(Elder David S. Baxter, "Finding Hope in a Troubled Family," August 2015 "New Era").
Is Guthrie Govan Married, La Haine Full Script French, Articles H